"You are disrespectful pig!" she cried, "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce straight away!"
And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And Paddy began - "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young woman here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed, a good clean up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the same..."
Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued,
"She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
"Please... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
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