The Hardest Road

[gt_dicko]

A piece of road walks into a bar and declares to all its occupants: "I'm the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole of this town!"
The piano player stops and the bar goes deadly silent. After a brief pause, all eyes drop, the pianist returns to playing and the piece of road pulls up a bar stool and settles down to a beer.
Five minutes later, a piece of dual carriageway throws open the bar door. Once again, the bar goes silent but for the creaking of the slow-moving overhead fans. The dual carriageway declares: "I'm the toughest piece of bitumen you'll ever see this side of the border!"
The piece of road slowly turns and locks eyes with the piece of dual carriageway. The tension mounts, other drinkers scatter and take cover. At that precise moment, in walks a piece of freeway which says: "I'm the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole country and I'll take you both on!"
And there they stood in a three-way Mexican stand-off for what seemed like an eternity.
Once again, the door opens and, into the middle of the stand-off, walks a strange-looking piece of coloured bitumen with a blue stripe. The other three turn their backs to the door, sit down at the bar and stare sheepishly into their drinks.
The bartender sidles up to the three of them and asks what the problem is. "Shhhh!", says the dual carriageway, "Watch what you say, that guy's a real cycle path."

[Ric]

*groan*

[Tom]

oh my god. lol

[Resonate]

lol that is soo corny.

[Ric]

It's almost as bad as the three bits of string that walked into a bar

[BlackGT]

It's almost as bad as the three bits of string that walked into a bar

Cmon Ric you know you want to tell us about the 3 strings!!!

[Ric]

I thought everyone must know that one:

Three bits of string walk into a bar and grab a table by the window.
One goes up to the barman, and orders a round of beers.
The barman says "we don't serve string in this bar!"
He goes back and reports this to his friends.
The second piece of string goes up to the bar to sort things out, but the barman rudely says "we don't serve your sort here".
Crestfallen, he reports back to his friend that it's going to be a dry afternoon.
The third piece of string says "watch this", wraps one end of himself into a neat figure 8, and fluffs out his end.
He then walks up to the bar and orders a long cool round of beers.
The barman says "are you a piece of string"
"No, I'm a frayed knot!"