Random thoughts

[Ric]

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
   He acquired his size from too much pi.
   
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
   
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
   
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
   
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
   
6. No matter how much you push the envelope,it'll still be stationery.
   
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
   
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.
   
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
   
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
    
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
    
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
    
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
    
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, 'No change yet.'
    
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
    
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
    
20. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

[rickerty]

hehe 12&19.

Just as I was reading these it occurred to me that I have done absolutely no work today! Ah well. Too late to start now

[Turtlez]

Same Here, good for a laugh.