Hobber's JOTD

Funny stuff. Nothing too obscene please...

Hobber's JOTD

Postby Hobber » Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:24 am

I had car crash the other day. I went right up someones arse. The driver got out and happened to be a dwarf. He said to me, "I'm not happy." I said, "Well which one are you?"
User avatar
Hobber
 
Posts: 1272
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:47 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY10 GT Premium
Real name: John

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby nytrojen » Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:55 am

BAHAHAHA. Omg... took me a few secs to get it. Nice one!
nytrojen
-stickered-
 
Posts: 1572
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2009 6:14 pm

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Ric » Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:29 am

There's a whole genre of drawf jokes. The great grandaddy of them all is:
Seven dwarfs in a bath all feeling happy.... then Happy got out so they all felt grumpy.
User avatar
Ric
Site Admin
 
Posts: 6477
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2006 11:08 pm
Location: Melbourne
Car: OLD: MY06 3RB Wagon NEW: MY21 Outbck
Real name: Ric
Profile URL: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=12

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Hobber » Mon Mar 22, 2010 11:52 am

Ric wrote:There's a whole genre of drawf jokes. The great grandaddy of them all is:
Seven dwarfs in a bath all feeling happy.... then Happy got out so they all felt grumpy.


Hey! This is Hobber's JOTD thread... stop hijacking! :P
User avatar
Hobber
 
Posts: 1272
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:47 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY10 GT Premium
Real name: John

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby smythie » Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:04 pm

That's a bit discriminatory. How's a dwarf supposed to hijack anything?
Flag Bitch

MY06 3.0RB
User avatar
smythie
 
Posts: 5227
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Sydney (w-end)
Car: MY06 3RB - Blue

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Fangin_RX » Mon Mar 22, 2010 5:31 pm

Easy the sneaky bugger hides in your backpack or laptop bag so when you get out he takes off with the car. :assassin: NINJA SKILLZ
MY00 Subaru Liberty (Legacy) RX 2.5L / 2009 Honda CRF250R
P PLATER
-------------------------------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Fangin_RX
-stickered-
 
Posts: 1892
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 11:26 am
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY00 Liberty RX 2.5L - Gen 3
Real name: Ethan

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby smythie » Wed Mar 24, 2010 12:35 pm

Well since Hobber has gone and sooked and left his JOTD thread to wither and die...

Defence Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 94 years old..

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard
Flag Bitch

MY06 3.0RB
User avatar
smythie
 
Posts: 5227
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Sydney (w-end)
Car: MY06 3RB - Blue

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Hobber » Wed Mar 24, 2010 2:51 pm

I figured I'd let someone else do the next JOTD! :)
User avatar
Hobber
 
Posts: 1272
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:47 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY10 GT Premium
Real name: John

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby smythie » Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:02 pm

And another.

Ivan Milat is cruising down the New England Hwy when he spots a backpacker hitch hiking, so he pulls over and the back packer hops in.

After they have been driving for a while, Ivan says "We're coming up to the Belanglo State Forrest, do you feel like cruising through there?", and the back packer says, "Sure, why not?".

As they cruise through the forest, it starts to get dark, and the back packer says, "Gee, it's scary in here in the dark".

And Ivan says, "You're scared! I've got to drive out of here on my own!"
Flag Bitch

MY06 3.0RB
User avatar
smythie
 
Posts: 5227
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2008 12:46 pm
Location: Sydney (w-end)
Car: MY06 3RB - Blue

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Fangin_RX » Thu Mar 25, 2010 6:42 pm

haha love that 1 tony :P
MY00 Subaru Liberty (Legacy) RX 2.5L / 2009 Honda CRF250R
P PLATER
-------------------------------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Fangin_RX
-stickered-
 
Posts: 1892
Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 11:26 am
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY00 Liberty RX 2.5L - Gen 3
Real name: Ethan

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Hobber » Thu Mar 25, 2010 7:29 pm

lol!
User avatar
Hobber
 
Posts: 1272
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:47 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY10 GT Premium
Real name: John

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Roddez » Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:59 am

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing.
MY07 Liberty GT-B (Manual)
User avatar
Roddez
-stickered-
 
Posts: 597
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 4:32 pm
Location: Sydney
Car: 2007 Liberty GT-B
Real name: Rod

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Hobber » Tue Mar 30, 2010 8:56 am

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
User avatar
Hobber
 
Posts: 1272
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:47 pm
Location: Sydney, NSW
Car: MY10 GT Premium
Real name: John

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby Kevlar GT » Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:48 am

^^ Ha ha ha, I like that one.
Image
User avatar
Kevlar GT
 
Posts: 1707
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:48 pm
Location: Canberra (Southside of town)
Car: 04 GT Wagon

Re: Hobber's JOTD

Postby sundayDriver » Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:07 pm

Hobber wrote:I had car crash the other day. I went right up someones arse. The driver got out and happened to be a dwarf. He said to me, "I'm not happy." I said, "Well which one are you?"

grumpy.
It's the fastest who gets paid, it's the fastest who gets laid.
sundayDriver
 
Posts: 831
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:16 pm
Location: A.C.T.

Next

Return to Humour

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 12 guests