A Blonde's Year in Review

[Roddez]

January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!

March Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said '2-4 years!'

April Trapped on escalator for hours .... Power went out!!!

May Tried to make Kool-Aid......wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August Got locked out of my car in a rain storm..... Car swamped because soft-top was open.

September The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it ?

October Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!''

[Posseltperformance]

[Fangin_RX]

Bahaha Awesome, I like July pissed myself laughing when i saw it Tops Rod

[teK--]

They're all good

[bugli]

He is back on form!

[andy85]

LOLz... funny sh*tz

[Hobber]

A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in.
After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."
The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."
The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try.
When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face.
He walked into the bathroom and is shocked to see his wife was sitting on the toilet.
He screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!"
"Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."

[Mr04Liberty]

three men in plane flying round the world
1 is American 1 is Greek 1 is Aussie
flying over america the american says, i throw out 1million dollars cause im proud of my country
flying over greece the greek man says, i throw out 2million cause im proud of my country
flying over australia the aussie man says, i throw out 5 dollars cause im proud of my country
the american and the greek man say to the aussie, aussie why you still got your hand out for?

Im waiting for my change???