True Friendship

[Ric]

None of those sissy "feel good poems" here!

"True Friendship"
(With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!)

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask. "Because you are my friend."

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me....

I don't want to hear it!!!)

And remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!

Don't forget now !!

[adam]

sorry for jumping into a thread before i've officially introduced myself but i i think i've got a pretty good addition to these sentiments.....
"a friend will help you move......
a good friend will help you move a body"

[Garry]

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. Well, the
Hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in
The door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed
Three times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I
Cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming
Up with
Such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict
With him.

(Even when totally smashed, three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos
Totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
Him "Midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all.
Whew! Got Away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock
Cuckooed three times, and then said, 'Oh. Shit,' cuckooed four more
Times,
Cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed
Twice
More, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

[EJ25]

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. Well, the
Hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.

Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in
The door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed
Three times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I
Cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming
Up with
Such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict
With him.

(Even when totally smashed, three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos
Totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
Him "Midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all.
Whew! Got Away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock
Cuckooed three times, and then said, 'Oh. Shit,' cuckooed four more
Times,
Cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed
Twice
More, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."

LOL!~!!!!