Page 1 of 4

Not quite PC

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 11:30 am
by smythie
I can't see the big deal with calling a Pakistani a Paki.
It's just the same as calling an Australian an Aussie, a Scotsman a Scot or a Frenchman a c **t.

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone.
I said, "Morning."
He replied, "No, just having a shi*t."

Went to my first Muslim birthday party last week.
The musical chairs was a bit slow, but f **k me, pass the parcel was quick!!!

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this thing outta me! Give me the drugs!"
She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you f ***er!"
He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'f **k off it'll be too painful.'"

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it f ****ing start?"

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I f***ed her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair. I guess we don't watch the same movies.

A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, lardarse."

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:36 pm
by moggy
Oh dear oh dear, where do you get these from? :lol:

8) Bob.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 2:29 pm
by overl0ad
fantastic!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:53 pm
by Fangin_RX
haha very nice well done :lol:

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:11 pm
by TorpedoCreative
LOL... very farny :lol: :lol:

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:47 pm
by gumbyy
:rofl:
very funny!

PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:32 pm
by Sentinel
:haha: Very good smythie!! Some of those are gold!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 11:25 am
by smythie
And another


A Mexican, an Arab, and an English man are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his no-alcohol beer (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'

The English man, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out his 45, and shoots the mexican and the Arab. Catching his glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill,he says, 'In England we have so many f@cking illegal immigrants that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'

God Bless England

PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:00 pm
by zorbaru
Jesus walks into a bar and sits down, asking for a glass of water.
The bartender snaps, "F**k off, you're paying wine prices like everyone else!"


What should a wife do if she finds out her husband is gay?
Take it like a man.


I went to the doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating.
I asked him why, he said "because I'm trying to examine you!"

PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:51 pm
by Fangin_RX
Lol they are getting better by the day

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 2:36 pm
by Sentinel
zorbaru wrote:Jesus walks into a bar and sits down, asking for a glass of water.
The bartender snaps, "F**k off, you're paying wine prices like everyone else!"


What should a wife do if she finds out her husband is gay?
Take it like a man.


I went to the doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating.
I asked him why, he said "because I'm trying to examine you!"


Oh man - these are getting lower! haha!! :D

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:57 pm
by zorbaru
ive got worse, but i havent been a member long enough to get away with it. :D

PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:04 pm
by Sentinel
zorbaru wrote:ive got worse, but i havent been a member long enough to get away with it. :D


Avatar says Nov 07 - not long enough?? Huh?

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 2:17 am
by suff
pretty sure these forums kicked off in Mid 2007 didnt they?

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:27 am
by Sentinel
Oh. 8)