quick jokes for a tuesday

[LIBER8ED]

some of these are that pathetic you have to laugh....

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey look, I'll
serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar and got into a fight, when the Police asked
what happened, the one peanut said "I was a salted"

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. (That's it)

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"Give me a beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing "The Green, Green Grass of Home" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome", the doctor says. "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. Sadly, the kids were
nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't, I removed your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"

16.Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
boat. naturally it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good). a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally, there was this guy who sent twenty different puns to his
friends with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

[Mano™]

haha damnz.. bit of a long that one is haha

defnetly a goodie nice way to start the tuesday hehe