Bankstown High School Math Test

[Deep Heat]

You have approximately 1 hour to answer the following questions.

No calculators, mobile phones, laptop computers, mainframe computers, geiger counters, electrolysis kits or chiko rolls my be used during the exam.

1) If Mahammad lowers his WRX 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen 18 inch zepter wheels how many inches has he origianlly lost from the stock suspension?


2) If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved how many razors will he need before he goes to the gym at 6pm?


3) If mustaffa runs 10 km from the police in lakemba to punchbowl and steals a car and drives another 5 km to bankstown, how many kilometres has he travelled if he ends up hiding in Wiley Park?


4) If ahmed receives a $200 a week disability allowance from Centrelink and works with his brother as a builder and recieves a further $400 a week, and pays $10 a week for each of his 11 children for school, how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Torago from the auctions?


5) If mario's dad has his top 3 buttons of his shirt open and reveals 1 golden cross and 2 other golden ornaments, and has approximately 17 sq cm of hair coming from his chest with an average height of 2 cm, what is the probability that the ornaments will be visible from:
2 feet away _________%
5 feet away _________%
100 Feet away _________%


6) If Soula needs 25ml of wax a day to get rid of her facial her, and Soula is only 19, how many mls will her mum need if she is 47?


7) If Bilal gets a haircut and gets a number 2 on the sides and number 3 on the top then goes back 3 weeks later and gets a number 1 all round, how much has his hair grown in 3 weeeks? (Assuem that his hair grows evenly at a rate of 2mm per day)


If George has $12,000 and buys 2 smashed cars from the auctions how much will it cost him to fix them if Ahmed his friend from school is a panel beater and charges him Habib rates of $40 an hour?


9) If sam boosts his turbo on his 200sx to 22psi and puts a chip to aggregate the turbo to 17psi on weekends, what pressure is exerted on the turbo if he puts another standard nissan turbo and runs the twin turbos only on sunday nights at brighton?


10) If Greg Smith hears the word "yullah" approximately 55 times an hour in bankstown square how many times will hear the word mate in Penrith, if Bankstown has a population of 85,000 and Penrith has a population of 10,000?


11) If your Father normally buys 1 item of clothing a year. How many years must pass before he gets around to buying a second pair of pants.


12) If luigi drives his family and his cousins all in one car from Leichardt to Stanmore how many round trips will he need to make if 40 of his relatives need a lift and he can put 12 people in his valiant at any one given time?


13) If Layla has to move her eyes 50 degrees to the right when doing her maths HSC to see Julie Wilson's answers, how many degrees will she have to move her head if Michelle, Linda and Lisa are sitting 1 meter apart from Julie?


14) If Jim changes the oil in his fish and chip shops deep frier every 18 months and this costs him $400. How often should he change his oil if he wants to spend on average a total of $180 per annum on oil changes.


15) If Abdo runs a kebab shop and is a taxi driver on weekends and earns $1,200 a week how much does centrelink give him for his unemployment benefit?


16) If Ahmed uses 1kg of bog to fix his smashed car, how many cans of spray paint will he need if hardware house is selling them for $9 each, and each can has 850ml and the ambient air temperature averages at 22.5 degrees celcius.


17) If Effie's mum sells her galaktoboureko for $2 a slice and she wants to make an extra 10% profit on each slice how many sheets of filo pastry will she leave out if filo pastry costs 62c a sheet and she normally used 17 sheets on each tray which she cuts into 16 slices.


18) If Julie Smith buys 3 slices of ham, 4 slices of devon, and 2 slices of chicken from the deli for her kids for school lunch, how many kilos correspondingly will Voula buy for her children?


19) If bankstown's ethnic community is increasing at 3.5% a month, and its overall popluation at 2.1% a month, at what rate are the aussies leaving

No offence to anyone from these areas or ethnic backgrounds intended.

[essbeecee]

How many to change a light globe?

We put the question to the students of Sydney, and here's how they replied:

Scots - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.

PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Sydney Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the
pressure.

James Ruse Agricultural - Four. One to design a nuclear powered one that
never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer
programme that controls the switch.

Forest High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get
high off the old one.

Loreto Kirribilli - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff
because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.

King's - Two. One to change the globe faster than anyone in the GPS and
one to show him around the school afterwards.

Knox Grammar - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by
testosterone and one to brag about it loudly.

Cranbrook - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual
orientation.

Ravenswood - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that she
doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos
showing that she does.

Abbotsleigh - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to
the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's
brighter than PLC's.

Shore - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one
to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to
smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The
second eight just need to be ready to back them up.

Northern Beaches Christian School - Two. One human and God just to make
sure the light shelters all in need, whether it be for food, shelter..blah blah
f**kin blah...

Macdonald College - Five. One to change the globe and four to do an
interpretive dance about it.

Newington. - None. They're all too drunk to notice.

Killara High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the North
Shore Times about how she did it as well as any private school student.

Santa Sabina - None. They're all down at Strathfield station having a
ciggie.

St Pat's, Strathfield - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel
to impress and ultimately lay the Santa Sabina chicks, while the rest compete
wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf (Strathfield Station).

Homebush Boys High - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one
at the St Pat's boys and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of
each other in the meantime.

Barrenjoey High - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the
experience.

Parramatta High - None. That hole looks better in the dark.

Joey's - Fifteen. It's not that one's not smart enough, it's just that
they're a team and they have to form a lineout and get the backs into
position.

Barker College - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as
if they own the place and talk it up.

MLC Burwood - Two. One to change it but only after the other one has found
an interpreter to translate the English instructions.

Sydney Uni - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the
globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.

Mater Maria - Twenty. One to change it and the rest to carry on about how
it was, like, soooo fully better than at their old school.

Trinity - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall
even if it means standing in the dark.

SCECGS Redlands - Three. One to change the bulb and two to nick down to
Bed, Bath and Table to buy a Jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours.

Queenwood - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to
commit unless the Shore boys are definitely going to be there.

Mercy College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word
screw and two to message the St Pius boys about it.

St Pius X - Three, one to get word around that the Mercy girls are talking
about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it
done in time to beat the Chatswood High boys to the Mercy party.

Brigidine - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their sunglasses
on.

Girraween High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make
out.

Marist Eastwood - Five. One to change it and four to shop for the perfect
J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

Riverview - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Gowings for new
flannellette shirts to wear for the occasion.

Cabramatta High - Ten. One to change the bulb, two to negotiate a pay off
to rival gangs to prevent anything going down during the change and therest
to stake out just in case.

Kogarah High - Five. One to install it. One to tally the number of times
he says F*** while he's doing it, one to brag about the size of their
falafels and a couple of eager chicks with gelled hair and monobrows who overheard
and came for 'lunch'.

East Hills Girls - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about East
Hills.

Riverstone High - Six. Two to break into the store, one to steal the
globe, one to install it and two to help him reach the socket using their
pregnant tummies as steps.

The International School - None. They brought notes from their guardians
excusing them.

Ascham - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual.

Kincoppal - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons
are still in place afterwards.

Glenaeon - The entire school. One to remove the perfectly good globe, two
to work out how to dispose of it so that it's dolphin safe,one to replace it
with candles and the rest to sit on mats and express how they feel about
the change.

Frensham - The girl who answered the phone said she was pleased to be
included with the Sydney schools but probably would never know the answer
because her Daddy had said to phone immediately if the maintenance man
made any disgusting suggestions.

North Sydney Girl's High - One and she was determined to get better
results than the North Sydney Boys.

North Sydney Boy's High - None. They didn't have to, the North Sydney
Girls insisted on showing them how it was done.

Narrabeen Sports High - Unsure. Their response was something like 'Duuh,
what's a light globe?'

Pennant Hills High - About fifteen. One to change the bulb, but a small
search party to try and find a socket that hasn't been burnt to a crisp.

Tara - Five. One to replace the globe, three to figure out that she
screwed it in upside down and one to phone her brother at Kings and get him to
send over his mates to show them how to screw the right way up.

The Conservatorium - Forty Three. One to change the globe and a 42 piece
orchestra to accompany him.

Kambala - Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for
it.

Condell Park - None. They didn't want to spoil its 'quickie in the dark'
atmosphere.

St Aloysius - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the
imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half
as bright as the light shining from their arses.

Leichhardt High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin
Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country,
one to arrange delivery cause his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose
mate, Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic the
electrician because he owes him a favour and one to make sure everything
is done cash.

[Rome_BRZ]

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