Insurance payout

[Ric]

A man woke up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor came in and said, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groaned, but the doctor went on, "You've got £9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new one that will work as well as your old one did - better, in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1000 an inch."

The man perked up at this. "So," the doctor said, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agreed to talk with his wife. The doctor came back the next day.

"So," said the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," said the man.

"And what is the decision?" asked the doctor.

"We're having granite worktops."

[SegR]