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The best joke ever

PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 2:07 pm
by garbo41610
Australian cricket

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:34 pm
by Hotwire
garbo41610 wrote: cricket


Fixed
:ninja:

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:32 am
by mihai
LOL! This should be stickied!!

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:32 pm
by smythie
Hotwire wrote:
garbo41610 wrote: people who think one sport is better than another


Fixed
:ninja:
Corrected :p

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:38 pm
by sundayDriver
cricket is not a real sport.

you should see the reaction when you try and tell an Indian or pakistani that it's not a real sport.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:48 pm
by Kekotic
sundayDriver wrote:cricket is not a real sport.

you should see the reaction when you try and tell an Indian or pakistani that it's not a real sport.


Everyone is so quick to get on the hate bandwagon of the Aussie cricket team now that they are doing so shit.
It's only because Australia had been the leader in cricket for the last 15 years that people are getting so angry. Any other Mediocre Australian team doesn't get this kind of a bashing, because they have always been mediocre.

You can't always be the king of the hill I guess, Australia seems to have fallen down and can't get back up just yet. Hopefully soon they will become the hungry wolf at the bottom of the hill.

And yes I agree, I have an Indian friend and all he talks about is cricket. He gets a little racist about it too (yes people who aren't white can be racist...)

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:09 pm
by teK--
It's not just that one sport is better than another, but that one sport is worse than most others :lol:

Cricket is boring regardless of whether the Aussies are doing well or not.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:46 pm
by Kekotic
It's all down to personal opinion.
I myself enjoy cricket, be it One day or test matches, I find it great to watch.
Just like some people find AFL great to watch, it's all down to opinion.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 5:38 pm
by jimonabike
perhaps if the aussie cricketers spent less time filling their pockets doing television comercials and more time working on their game they'd be doing better. every 2nd add has the aussie cricketers in it but i suppose they have to pay for their Lamborghini's and Aston martins somehow :roll:

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 6:28 pm
by Kekotic
jimonabike wrote:perhaps if the aussie cricketers spent less time filling their pockets doing television comercials and more time working on their game they'd be doing better. every 2nd add has the aussie cricketers in it but i suppose they have to pay for their Lamborghini's and Aston martins somehow :roll:


I think the only person guilty of this would be Ricky Ponting.
The rest of the team, it's been this way for years, especially when the aussie cricket team was doing fantastic. (Gillie ads come to mind...)

People are just making a huge fuss about it because they don't like the idea of losing.
The only vested interest people have in the sport is that it's the Australian team, when you take a step back it's just a bunch of people you don't know personally, playing cricket against another bunch of people that you also don't know.

I have a bit of a thing against sports fanatics that blindly follow a team that has never actually personally affected them, AFL comes to mind.....I doubt anyone on this forum actually knows a person playing for an AFL team. I know one who plays for the Dockers (had a bit of game time in 2010) but I still don't follow any specific team, I just enjoy watching a game every now and then, but I don't go crazy for any specific team.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:12 pm
by smythie
What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired

What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne? A waiter."

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A fisherman."

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment? They haven't got any openers..."

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball."

What's the Australian version of LBW? Lost, Beaten and Walloped."

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian cricket team? The person who ironed the cricket whites!"

What do you call an Aussie holding a six inch urn above his head? The England bowling coach!"

Q. What does Ponting put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost always takes a wicket?
A. A bat.

Q. What would Anderson be if he was an Australian?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q: what is the difference between an Australian fielder and a condom?
A: one drops a catch and other catches a drop

Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A: The entire Australian innings.

Q. What do Ponting and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q: How should the Australian coach reshuffle the Australian batting order?
A: Move Extras up the order

Q: What is the Australian version of a hat-trick?
A: 3 runs in 3 balls

Q: When would Ponting have 100 runs against his name?
A: When he is bowling.

Q: Where do Australian Batsman perform their best?
A: In Advertisments.

Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.

Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A:Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A:Because they can't spell beer.

Not all is lost. Australia still has world class spinners. There's the redback, the funnel web..."

What do you call an aussie centurian? A bowler

What is the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman applying sunscreen.

The Aussies are releasing a new drink to go along side their 2003 Campesie w(h)ine called Pontings. Both are expected to be complete failures with a bitter aftertaste lasting for several years.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:43 pm
by moggy
Good one Tony, not being a cricket fan myself I agree with all your observations. On the other hand my Bro-inlaw is so I will make sure he sees this! :twisted:

8) Bob.

Re: The best joke ever

PostPosted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:53 pm
by The Sean
(the token Indian raises his hand)

Yes, I do like cricket and test matches more than the other two formats

I agree with Kieran, different people like different games.

Some people (generally those who like shiny things and are distracted by fast, flashing colours) like shorter more intense games while others can appreciate a long, drawn out battle of wills that (hopefully) culminates in a close finish at the end of the timeframe

I for one cannot understand why people watch 20 odd grown ass men stand 10 metres apart and support a handful of them run into each other for 2 lots of 40 minutes THEN GET EXCITED WHEN THEY MISS EACH OTHER!!!

...and don't get me started on scrums

In terms of the Aussie team, it's all about phases but one cannot help but feel that poor management has hampered the team rebuild effort. You get that when you set up a Secret Mens Club to run things


To be fair though, I got to tip my hat to Tony's joke list, that had some good zingers in it. I always wonder if the bloke that wrote that VB ad where Michael Clarke is asked if 14 will be his highest score dislikes the bloke as much as me (or if he was simply clairevoyant)