Not quite PC

[suff]

What did one priest say to the other?


"I'll swap you a ten for two fives"

LOL.. That's bad! (In a good way).

Thats bad in a bad way!

[tangcla]

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toilet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how are you doing?"

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied, "Not too bad, thanks."

After a short pause, I heard the voice again. "So, what are you up to?"

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, "Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?"

The next thing I heard him say was, "Sorry, mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some a-hole in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say."

[jp928]

This horny chick hit on me. She said 'Give me 12" and HURT me!"


So I f*cked her twice,and hit her on the head with a brick.

[suff]

This horny chick hit on me. She said 'Give me 12" and HURT me!"


So I f*cked her twice,and hit her on the head with a brick.

Epic Fail

[sundayDriver]

This horny chick hit on me. She said 'Give me 12" and HURT me!"


So I f*cked her twice,and hit her on the head with a brick.

So 12 members of the cronulla footy team f*cked her, and one of the senior managers gave her a black eye.

[smythie]

"Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?" asked the Irishman, walking up to the counter.

The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"

"If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?" demanded the Irishman indignantly.

"Or, if I asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?"

Then, warming to his theme, he went on:

"Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish?"

"Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would Ya? Would Ya?"

The assistant said: "Well, no."

Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, and pleased to strike a blow against the Irish stereotype, the Irishman steps it up a gear. "And if I asked you for frogs' legs, would you ask me if I was French?"

"What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"

"Well no, I probably wouldn't" conceded the assistant.

So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says:

"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?"

The assistant replied: "Because you're in Bunnings you Dickhead"

[smythie]

A new rooster is introduced to the hen house.

The old rooster whom is being replaced wanders down-

"Howsit goin' mate?"

"Not bad old fella, I'm here to be your replacement, getting a bit long in the beak eh?"

"Oh, OK. It's not that easy though."

"Really, I think it will be, I just have to wait for you to fall off your perch."

"Oh no young cock, you must beat me in a foot race, three times around the pen".

"Fark (sorry, thats a crow), this will be too easy"

The two roosters line up and they're off, the old rooster puts in all he has got and leads the young rooster for the firsat lap when-

BAAANG.

The new rooster slides to a halt missing feathers and bits, dead as a doornail. The farmer walks in the back of the house with his shottie muttering-

"Thats the third fukkin poofter rooster I've had in as many weeks!"

[smythie]

A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

[fg1972]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

You can't tell her nothing cause she's already been told twice.

[Roddez]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

To buy a sports bra before going running?

[The Sean]

Tara, the office Feminist and general Man-Hater wore a t-shirt to work that said:

'What do we need men for?'


Bruce, the old school ocker Aussie bloke, best described by Chisel's 'Working Class Man' saw said t-shirt on the way to the coffee machine and casually looks up from the memo he was reading and said:

'Because your vibrator won't take the trash out of a night'


True Story.

[smythie]

grandma and grandpa were watching a religious healing program on tv.....

The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed, to put one hand on thetv and the other on the body part they wanted healed...

Grandma hobbled to the tv and put one hand on the tv and the other on her arthritic hip..

Grandpa made his way to the set and put one hand on the tv and the other on his crotch...

Grandma looked at him with disgust: "you just don't understand, you old coot.....the purpose of this program is to heal the sick, not raise the
dead."

[Roddez]

Why is it when your wife gets pregnant, all her friends rub her belly and say "congratulations!"

But nobody rubs your dick and says "Good Job"?

[smythie]

do you want all of your mates rubbing your cock?

[Ric]

do you want all of your mates rubbing your cock?

It sounds like all of Tiger's "friends" were doing exactly that.