xmas jokes

[Ric]

I want to make sure I don't offend anyone this year!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the (northern) winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our countries great. Not to imply that our countries are necessarily greater than any other country.

This wish is made without regard to race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference.

[Ric]

[Spec B Wgn]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?'

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three
phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30s to 40s , they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his
50s, it is like a Christmas tree'.

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'

[EJ25]

dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'

rofl..