iOS implements its own proprietary version of Bluetooth. As a result, it's incompatible with 99% of everything out there. Even basic A2DP and headset functionality through an actual headset or headunit is hit and miss.
Bluetooth tethering for Internet from anything to iOS does work, but is sketchy at times. You will have significantly more success tethering your tablet with a mossy rock. Where possible, I would leave iOS out altogether unless you plan to make everything Apple.
Bluetooth in general can setup multiple channels. You can use Internet, make phone calls and listen to music all simultaneously, however there is only a single channel for each of those functions - for example, you can't setup A2DP to stream to more than one device. You can't use more than one headset/headunit for phone calls, only one device can be tethered for Internet over Bluetooth, etc. Oddly though, you can peer to peer multiple devices for basic data transfer allowing games like Spaceteam to operate...
Depending on how the Defi gear operates, if it requires an ad-hoc connection, then you're limited, but if it can join an existing wifi network, then you can get either your tablet or your phone to enable its hotspot and you should then be able to talk to other devices on that same hotspot like any ordinary wifi network (note that hotspots are typically limited to five devices).
Where possible, find out if your devices can use USB, then get a simple OTG adapter, connect it to a powered USB hub and connect everything that way.
As for power, get one of
these and hook it into your car's cigarette fuse using one of
these and a
5A blade fuse. They work great and will provide enough power for just about everything up to 5A shared across all four ports (the car provides up to 10A on the cigarette lighter from memory, but the fuse will limit you to 5A only, preventing any damage should something short). Just make sure you multimeter the ports on the eBay stepdown PSU first to ensure they are outputting 5v and not anything lower or higher.
My current setup has an Android tablet doing A2DP to the car's headunit. All its audio goes there, but the headset channel on the headunit is paired with my phone with the A2DP channel disabled on the phone (so phone media audio still comes through the phone's speaker). I can play music, get navigation etc from the tablet through the car's headunit, but when a call comes in, the music is automatically paused and the phone takes over the headunit for the call. When the call finishes, the music automatically resumes from the tablet.
If you want your tablet to control the phone to instruct it to make and receive calls etc, you can do so using a piece of Android software called Tablet Talk, available in the Play store. It's not perfect as far as automatically re-attaching to your phone when you get in the car, but it works pretty well when connected.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off...