What I did manage to do was replace my fuel pump. I wasn't planning on doing so, but rather wanted to work out why I had a slight fuelly smell in the car at times, so I started off simply removing the back seat and taking off the fuel pump cover. Damn it was dirty down there. I spent a bit of time cleaning up a bit, and found one of the nuts holding the fuel pump assembly in place was a little loose (a bit of a worry), likely the cause of the smell I was getting occasionally.
Now, I had the Deatschwerks pump already (purchased from a member here), and I figured "well, I've got the rear bench out, I've got the cover off the pump assembly, I need to get a socket out to tighten this nut, I've done this sort of thing before (BMW E36 sedan), how hard can it be, right?
So, I dived under the bonnet and removed the fuel pump fuse, turned the car over to clear fuel pressure from the lines, disconnected the earth (negative) terminal on the battery, and got started.
All was going well - quick releases worked fine (a tiny bit of dripping, that's fine), popped off the electrical contact an 8mm socket took care of the nuts (all eight of them) holding the fuel pump assembly into the tank, started to remove the assembly from the tank - and I realised my first mistake. I'd read many times "don't do this sort of work with a full fuel tank" - and guess how full my tank was - that's right, damned full. So I grabbed an old bedsheet as a rag to soak up the fuel that spilt into the under-floor area as I pulled the assembly out. Yep, tank's full. Yep, the fuel's a lovely yellow colour (RON98 tends to be). Tank seems to be metal (surprised me, I thought it was plastic from reading I'd done).
Taking the fuel pump assembly apart was the next fun bit. Getting the bucket off the cage was fun - there's 5 clips that need releasing at the same time, I did it by holding them open using cable ties pushed into them (is there nothing cable ties can't do?) Once you have the bucket off (tip - it'll be full of fuel), there's a few electrical connections that come off easily enough, which leaves you with the basket attached to the lid with what appears to be spring-loaded metal slides (the whole thing compresses about 5cm or so - and at close to full compression, you find a circlip on one of the metal bars that holds it all together). Remove the circlip, start to pull the unit apart, and realise that there's some additional lines that need decoupling (they just clip in, not hard to deal with).
So now I was down to the cage and the pump itself. The stock filter sock was certainly dirty. Popping the pump out again requires that you release two clips right inside the body of the cage - thankfully there's a spot you can get screwdrivers in through the side to open the clips up and pull the pump out.
Once the pump is out, you prepare the new one. The Deatschwerks pump comes with two rubber gaskets - you should replace two of the ones in the cage, and they should be greased up when inserted to ensure they don't catch or perish. Attach the fuel filter sock to the base of the pump before inserting it into the cage (you could do it the other way, but there's some force required to get the retaining ring to sit tight, and I'd rather not put too much pressure on the cage). There's a retaining ring on the original pump, you put it onto the new pump, put the gasket over it, and then simply snap the new pump into the cage.
Assembly is the reverse. Re-attach the electrical connections and fuel lines (really, do the connections first - the electrical connection on top of the pump is *much* easier this way, I'm sure). Slide the re-attach the basket to the lid, making sure to align it nicely and replace the circlip that holds it all together. Slide the whole assembly back into the bucket, making sure it aligns nicely and that the clips snap shut (mine snapped shut better after re-assembly than they were when I first took it apart).
And then it gets *really* fun. I mentioned it was a bit messy before when I took the pump assembly out of the tank - it was worse putting it back - every time I moved the pump assembly to try to align it, fuel splashed about a bit. And then I had the gasket on the wrong way. And then I realised that it's actually keyed and only goes on one way (it has to match the "lid" that holds it all in place). Finally, I worked out that the only way I could successfully align everything was to basically hold the gasket and the pump assembly and the "lid" together, and gradually lower them down onto the studs that the nuts go onto to hold it all in place. And then realised I had to somehow hold the fuel lines out of the way as I did all this.
Yep. *Really fun*.
But it all went back together in the end. I tightened the nuts up in accordance with the instructions in the workshop manual (4.4Nm of torque, it really isn't much, and I did it by hand, I did take an approximate measurement by hand of how they were before I took it all apart, and only the loose one seemed to differ). Hooked up the fuel lines, hooked up the electrical connection, Wiped everything down underneath to soak up any excess petrol, sliced myself open on the cover that goes over the whole thing (it's sheet metal, it had to happen at some point, you can't work on a car without drawing blood, right?). Put the fuel pump fuse back in place, turned on the ignition and started the car - and it started pretty much immediately.
Yay.
I took the car for a quick spin (my wife was home by this stage). Everything seems good. I'm not sure if it's just my mind playing tricks on me, but the car actually feels more responsive after the change, I'll see how it feels tomorrow once I've stopped feeling light-headed from the petrol fumes.
